19

My Week in Pictures

sunflowers

peppers from the garden

tea

beauregard

napping

This week was hard for me and, for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t feel like blogging. I know my posts have been spotty this summer, mostly due to the fact that I haven’t had any routine since we’ve moved. I felt really low this week for a number of reasons. Adam has been away most of the summer – he’s a wonderfully stabilizing force for me – including all of this week. I’ve been frantic getting a bunch of stuff done before we leave the country for 4 months right after our wedding and stress can bring me low. My heart was breaking for sad things happening in our country (especially the death of an unarmed teenager) and in our world.

What hit me the hardest was the death of Robin Williams. He and his work have been a major source of joy and inspiration for me and so many others. I watched Mrs. Doubtfire and Hook on repeat as a kid. I’d listen to his Live on Broadway sketches any time a needed a guaranteed laugh. And Death to Smoochy is one of my very favorite movies (and a litmus test for being a part of my family. All prospective significant others to me, my step-brother, and step-sister are made to watch the movie with our family and must been seen to laugh before they are okayed. Fortunately, Adam passed the test).

What made it particularly hard for me is not that I couldn’t understand why he killed himself. It’s that I could. I too have struggled with depression. The silver lining to come out of such a sad occurrence is that there has been an outpouring of people openly talking about their struggles. Reminding us all that Depression Lies. That there are other people out there going through the same thing. That it’s okay to talk about mental illness. That you can reach out and get help. (I was particularly touched by Erika Moen’s contribution to the dialogue and by the fact that several sewing bloggers that I consider friends (even if I only know them online) spoke up about their personal struggles.)

This week I didn’t blog because I was feeling low. It seemed silly to post pictures of pretty dresses and pink lace and to talk about sunshine and perfectly fitted bikinis when the world felt so sad. But coming out the other side, I want to call myself out on those feelings. This blog is my happy place. Sewing is my happy place. It’s okay, even important, to share the happy things, especially in the face of sadness.

So thank you to anyone that has spoken about their own struggles. Thank you to friends that have lifted me through my own. And thank you to everyone that reads my blog for sharing my happy space with me.

Comments 19

  1. Thanks, Erin, for writing this. I, too, have been struggling with Robin Williams’ death (and other events of the week not only in your country, but in mine too). I can understand why he committed suicide–not condone, not agree; but understand. The person I love most in this life has struggled with depression for 10+ years now, and I have seen him that low & been unable to reach him. While i cannot imagine the despair and thought process that would lead one to believe that this is the only answer, i can understand it.
    How blessed we were to have a genius like Robin Williams in our lives, and what a legacy he has left us—the gift of (almost) forcing us all to discuss mental illness, and in doing so, perhaps we have removed a tiny bit of the stigma attached to it.
    Stepping down off my soapbox now.

    1. Post
      Author
  2. Thank you for this. Despite the fact that he was a stranger to me, Robin Williams’ death hit me pretty hard, especially for one reason that you mentioned: because I have been there (and to some extent, I’m ALWAYS there), and I can intimately understand why someone would want to do what he did. And thank you for the link to Erika’s post–it was wonderful.

    I hope this low passes for you soon; you’re not alone out here (as you know), and so many people enjoy sharing this happy space with you. <3

    1. Post
      Author
  3. I, too, understood Robin Williams better than I could wish. You don’t know me, but I’m the Denise that Amy mentioned who does the Thursday morning meet-ups. A friend and I are going fabric shopping tomorrow, and if you want to come and get out of your head a little, you’d be very welcome. My contact info is at my blog. And in any case, seek the joy:)

    1. Post
      Author

      Thanks so much for the lovely invitation! The most amazing thing about this wonderful online community of sewists is how strangers can step up and share love and support, online and off. You are a great example and I can’t wait to meet IRL soon!

  4. I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling low. I’ve also been very upset about the death of Robin Williams. I’ve never suffered from depression but my close family members do and it’s just so hard. Someone posted on one of the boards that Robin lost the battle one time. We have no idea how many times he won it because it just wasn’t talked about. I’m glad for the conversations that are happening, grateful that people like you are willing to say “hey, I’m struggling too.” It gives me hope that soon depression or any kind of mental illness will be spoken of and treated matter-of-factly, without shame or judgement just like any other illness. I hope that for you, for my son, and all the others who struggle.

    1. Post
      Author
  5. I’m sorry you have been low, we all feel low at times, it’s part of human nature ! I always look at your week in pictures as they are always so beautiful, (this week in particular). Look again at the things around you and remember just how lucky you are – yes, it’s very sad about what is going on in the US and in other parts of the world, Syria, Gaza, Israel, Iraq but we can’t fix it all, we can show empathy, perhaps donate but we can’t let it bring us down ! Be strong and keep your chin up !

    Best Wishes

    Alison

    1. Post
      Author

      Thanks for the sweet words. I’m so glad you enjoy the pictorial glimpses into my week. Each photo is a little slice of happy and I’m so glad you see them that way!

    1. Post
      Author
  6. There are so many things I want to say but I’m just not there yet. You’re not alone. One of my very favorite things about blogs is the happiness. We all know that for every pretty picture posted there is darkness too, but so often blogs are a celebration of the happiness in one’s life. Thank you for sharing yours.

    1. Post
      Author
  7. Many hugs to you. I have struggled with anxiety for many years so I understand. Thanks for being open about your struggles- it helps so much to destigmatize [is this a word? It is now :) ] depression when lots of people share their experiences.

    1. Post
      Author
  8. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been feeling low, Erin. Please remember that moving and marriage, even when we welcome (and run towards) these changes, are hugely stressful. And with Adam gone, you don’t have your major support system in place. Be kind to yourself as you navigate these huge life transitions.

    I, too, was devastated by Robin Williams death. He was one of those celebrities that you feel like you know, though it was always obvious to me that he struggled with a dark interior life. It is heartbreaking that his suffering was so acute at the end. Just heartbreaking. In fact, I had to go into news/Facebook blackout until the furor died down because it was so upsetting.

    I’ve also dealt with depression for much of my life, so I get what you are talking about. It’s epidemic in our society, but knowing that doesn’t really help. I’m glad you reached out. Please take care!

    1. Post
      Author

      Thanks so much Shams. I always appreciate your words of support. And thanks for sharing about your struggles too. Please know that I’m here for you just as I know you’re there for me!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *