This week was hard for me and, for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t feel like blogging. I know my posts have been spotty this summer, mostly due to the fact that I haven’t had any routine since we’ve moved. I felt really low this week for a number of reasons. Adam has been away most of the summer – he’s a wonderfully stabilizing force for me – including all of this week. I’ve been frantic getting a bunch of stuff done before we leave the country for 4 months right after our wedding and stress can bring me low. My heart was breaking for sad things happening in our country (especially the death of an unarmed teenager) and in our world.
What hit me the hardest was the death of Robin Williams. He and his work have been a major source of joy and inspiration for me and so many others. I watched Mrs. Doubtfire and Hook on repeat as a kid. I’d listen to his Live on Broadway sketches any time a needed a guaranteed laugh. And Death to Smoochy is one of my very favorite movies (and a litmus test for being a part of my family. All prospective significant others to me, my step-brother, and step-sister are made to watch the movie with our family and must been seen to laugh before they are okayed. Fortunately, Adam passed the test).
What made it particularly hard for me is not that I couldn’t understand why he killed himself. It’s that I could. I too have struggled with depression. The silver lining to come out of such a sad occurrence is that there has been an outpouring of people openly talking about their struggles. Reminding us all that Depression Lies. That there are other people out there going through the same thing. That it’s okay to talk about mental illness. That you can reach out and get help. (I was particularly touched by Erika Moen’s contribution to the dialogue and by the fact that several sewing bloggers that I consider friends (even if I only know them online) spoke up about their personal struggles.)
This week I didn’t blog because I was feeling low. It seemed silly to post pictures of pretty dresses and pink lace and to talk about sunshine and perfectly fitted bikinis when the world felt so sad. But coming out the other side, I want to call myself out on those feelings. This blog is my happy place. Sewing is my happy place. It’s okay, even important, to share the happy things, especially in the face of sadness.
So thank you to anyone that has spoken about their own struggles. Thank you to friends that have lifted me through my own. And thank you to everyone that reads my blog for sharing my happy space with me.